Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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