can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
