I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
