So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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