I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
