Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
