this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
