I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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