Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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