Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
