soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Boobs speak an international language.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
