were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
