Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
