Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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