i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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