The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This toilet bowl is my home.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
