you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
