Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
