matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
