I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
