I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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