i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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