the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
