some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
