need another drink. this is the easiest way
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
