My nipple is on Facebook.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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