I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
