Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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