So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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