That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
