I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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