matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
