Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
