I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
