wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
