it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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