Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
