I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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