the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you never un-have a 4some
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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