I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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