I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize