Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
