To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
