dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
