He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
