so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
