alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
