So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
