do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
