somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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