I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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